4.28.2009
Like her...
On Tuesdays I like to watch the fatties show (and usually proclaim this with 'Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties Fatties' as my facebook status...'cause I'm mature like that). So, tonight just about every other commercial break (and we know there are a lot of 'em...like FOUR during the weighing in of FIVE people) there was a stupid Mother's Day Kay Jewelers commercial. Its tagline (ok, its FIRST tagline) is, 'Like her, only gold is treasured.'

Huh? What the hell does that even mean? I am having serious problems making sense of that awkwardly constructed sentence. Sorry Dad (and kids and other family members and best friend), gold & Mom are the only things treasured? Is this in general? Is it supposed to apply to everyone? If so, gold doesn't even rank on my list of 'Things That Are Treasured'* or even 'Things That I'm Sorta Fond Of'. Gold looks terrible on me (mainly because I'm a pasty white girl and with a cool complexion and all golds/warm colors make me look nauseous and/or jaundiced) and I don't give a shit about real jewelry. I'd rather have a fake and not be scared to wear it and do something else with the jewelry money (an exotic vacation, a new car, plastic surgery, lots of booze, etc).

Really, 'Like her, only gold is treasured' makes me want to go into a Kay Jewelers and punch every single person in the store in the gonads. (Check out Sarah Haskins [the comedian, not the Olympian] for a funny take on jewelry commercials...and most other things as well.)


*Thing That Are Treasured
-My ipod
-Good books
-Shelby Mustangs (both old and new...or old [60s] & new ['05 and newer] Mustangs in general)
-Quality Vodka
-Avocados
-Hilarious movies
-Stilettos
-Man watches
(and yes, I guess I am really this shallow)

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 10:58 PM   0 comments
4.27.2009
Random Random Random
Random Aside (Heroes related): The Season Finale of 'Heroes' was on today...it was much better than I was expecting (and after 3 [4?] seasons Zachary Quinto is growing on me...I really can't explain it). BUT the sneak preview of next season showed a woman played by Ali Larter forming from a puddle on the floor and then we see a newspaper headline about a 4th drowning victim. Online articles keep saying that it is Tracy Strauss who has come back to life to kill the other people from Building 26. Uhhh...her ability just totally switched and she didn't die? Could it be that she is really Barbara, the third triplet?

Also some questions: Whatever happened to Molly Walker and that cousin of Micah's (Monica?) and all of those FBI agents from the first season and that other chick who could control electronics/digital stuff? Why did the original shapeshifter need special clothes but Sylar is able to shift the clothes too? How come Sylar can still use his telekinesis when he lost all of his other earlier abilities to the Shanti virus? How come Adam/Kensei was able to get drunk while Claire (who has the same regeneration power) is not able to do so? Argh...the lack on continuity is frustrating.

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 11:04 PM   0 comments
4.24.2009
Ray La...something
So, about 5 years ago I heard about some guy who decided to quit his job at a factory and become a musician upon hearing a Stephen Stills song. I decided to check him out, thinking that it could either be awesome or hideous yet hilarious. The first show was crowded and this rugged guy takes the stage and absolutely blew me away. The next time I saw him, the venue (Hotel Cafe) was probably at triple capacity and about 187 degrees inside due to all of the people and this guy's cd still had yet to be released.

So, I have a decent amount of this guy's music on my ipod and I was under the impression that the correct spelling of his name was Ray LaMontagne. Yesterday I realized that I have him listed twice on my ipod...once with that capital M and once with it little. So today I decide to check on Facebook 'cause the cd I still have in my possession has his name written in all caps. Log into Facebook..."Hey, Ray is at the top of my news feed and his name is spelled with a little 'm'. Oh wait, one sentence later it is spelled with the capital 'M'. Oh wait, one sentence later it is spelled with a capital 'M' and a space between the 'La' and the 'Montagne'. " My ipod (his name is Mordecai) and I really want to figure this one out because there is a slight chance that one of us is kinda OCD about stuff.

But score! There'll be a show in my area soon (although I always feel infinitely dorky at his shows...like I should be a depressed, self-destructive, reclusive whiskey drinker with questionable hygiene and I've only got two of those traits, maybe). Also, score, Ray will be on SNL tomorrow night (I think it is a repeat). But seriously, Festival of Books (including Ray Bradbury & Michael J. Fox) and then Ray LaMontagne on tv...this weekend is going to be awesome. I can only think of 3 things that could make this weekend better; a rollercoaster, beer, and making out.

And I ditched this a long time ago for Sarah Haskins stuff online. Sucks to be my blog.
posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 4:27 PM   0 comments
4.23.2009
Oops...
Today I went to the mall shopping for clothes for a job interview. One of the stores was covered in signs that said something along the lines of "It's your wardrobe, make a statement." The only statement that could be made was "I'm sorry, please excuse the mess...1986 threw up on me." Really, that isn't the message I want to send to a potential employer.


Dear stores (including Sears & JCPenneys),

I know NKOTB is touring again and I know I've been feeling nostalgic and rockin' the neon colors on my nails (and I never really stopped wearing my TMNT shirt), but really??? Really?? Neon leopard print jeans? Metallic satin-esque prom dresses? Off the shoulder sweatshirts? Members Only wanna-be jackets? Yeah, I'm just going to pass on all of that (unless you guys can see to it that ALF & 'Back to the Future' shirts are being produced again...I'd be all about those).

Hoping that fall brings back plaids and peacoats,
Molly

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 9:54 PM   0 comments
4.11.2009
I love you...
I have TWO songs on my ipod that include the word 'fishsticks'. Both of which I listen to on a regular basis.

I really don't want to know what that says about me.

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 9:12 PM   0 comments
4.10.2009
I don't have the heart...
Good lord, sometimes I even surprise myself with my stupidity. When I was little, there was a really popular song by James Ingram called 'I Don't Have the Heart'. He just sounded like the other wussy singers of the day...you know, like Michael Bolton and John Tesh and company. I was pretty surprised to find out today that he is not a pasty white guy with really questionable hair.

Whatever, that song is still obnoxious. Seriously, as a girl, I'd much rather hear "Bitch, please." Or for a more realistic take on this situation (you know, an I-Don't-Love-You-But-I'm-A-Self-Aggrandizing-Prick-And-Think-That-It'll-Break-Your-Heart-If-I-Dump-You-When-In-Reality-You'll-Probably-Be-Sort-Of-Relieved situation), please see 'Break Your Heart' by Barenaked Ladies (or check it out anyway...Steven Page is ridiculous on the vocals and by that I mean that I am completely full of awe and really can't put into words how incredible his voice is).

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 9:54 PM   0 comments
4.07.2009
Overthinking...
So, I'm currently unemployed and not really looking for full-time work, seeing as how I'm trying to go back to college in about 2 months. Today, after contemplating part-time employment, I went to the Target website, to look and apply for jobs at the nearby store (and probably just thinking that a Target discount would be awesome). There is only one hourly position available at the Target...so I clicked to apply. The application consists of 7 parts. Part number 6 (I think) had over ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN questions. No really, seriously. Usually the answer the store is looking for is glaringly obvious. Not so with Target (at least for some of the questions). Just about all of them were absolutes. Things like 'I have thought of doing something illegal at some point in my life'. Um, hasn't everyone done more than think about something illegal?? That question is both so vague and so specific at the same time, I was completely unable to figure out what they wanted. Do I lie and say 'No' because obviously they only want honest employees? Or do I say 'Yes', because obviously everyone capable of thought has contemplated doing something illegal? (I took the honest route and clicked 'Yes' because I am far from being a good girl and if asked that question in person there is absolutely no way I could say 'No' and keep a straight face.)

Also, of the 3,897 strongly-disagree/uncertain/strongly-agree style questions about 1/3 of them were about curiosity and/or wondering what was going on in other people's heads. No idea what they were after, but since I'd already answered 'Psychology' when asked about my college major, I pretty much had to mark that I totally analyze everyone and am curious and into freak-shows and human train wrecks (both of which I may very well be...especially since I was a psych student, because everyone knows that all psych students are batshit crazy [for reals]).

FYI: Walmart has a 65 question test. Really? Really? The folks who work at Walmart had to pass a test? With 65 questions on it? With multiple choice answers? Maybe my Walmart has some loopholes or something. Or maybe you just have to finish the test...you don't have to get any answers correct, they are just making sure you can stick with a task for about 13 minutes.

Ugh...looking for a job sucks. Then again, so does being poor (although the song 'Po Folks' by Nappy Roots is awesome, also, I used to own at least 2 of their cds but no longer do. How does that happen? I don't remember lending them out or anything.)
posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 10:35 PM   0 comments
4.06.2009
ADD
Good lord, I don't have the attention span for tv (especially not today). I find it really hard to recover from commercial breaks. Odds are, by the time the show is back on, I've wandered off or I've found something to look up online or I've decided to bake banana bread or something. Tonight I'm just going to embrace the ADD.

I love Caramel Apple Pops (they have their own wikipedia page). I miss the Thalia Chili Jolly Rancher Lollipops...those were awesome, especially the lime ones. I am a firm believer that lime makes everything taste better.

I have been sunbathing for the past week, not something I usually do. I am very tan for me, which means I've almost achieved 'pale' for most caucasian folks. Yes, I know, cancer blah blah blah. I'm pretty sure I won't make it another decade anyway, so whatever.

The girl on 'Heroes' really needs to lose the bangs. They are doing nothin' for her looks. And why isn't her hair all pretty and shiny any more? Is it because she isn't a cheerleader anymore and the lack of sheen represents how her life has lost some of its luster or something? (I'm being facetious...I mean the show can't even keep track of most of its characters [seriously, what the hell happened to Molly Walker, the Haitian, Micah's cousin with the awesome see-anything-on-tv-&-can-do-it-in-real-life ability], I doubt it is trying to be that deep).

Seriously...ADD in full effect tonight. I think I'm going to go do puzzles and watch CSI:NY online (ok, not really watch it...just stare at Hill Harper and hope there are scenes with him in glasses).

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 9:49 PM   0 comments
4.05.2009
The Right Stuff...
Confession: Once upon a time, I was into the whole boy band thing. I believe it was 1989 or 1990ish and I was nauseatingly into New Kids on the Block. I had all of their cassettes and tons of t-shirts (obviously they were over-sized and involved neon and I wore them with leggings and slouch socks and one of those plastic t-shirt restraint things [what the hell were those called?] and a ponytail on the side of my head). I was pretty sure that I was going to marry Joey McIntyre and then I'd have almost exactly the same name as one of the American Girls (just one letter off in the last name!). I actually harassed my parents into taking me to one of their concerts (in a different state, in the middle of a nasty divorce...Sadly, I've never been that persuasive again). In hindsight my fascination with NKOTB is kind of gross because all of the guys (with the exception of Joey) are a couple of years closer to my dad's age than to my own.

So, I've sort of kept up with the guys since then. I bought their 'Greatest Hits' when it came out during my sophomore year of high school (while at the same time mocking my friends for being into 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys because I was SOOO mature and got the boy band stuff out of my system a decade earlier). I knew Danny did something with LFO and Jordan released that song about circus rape or whatever (sample lyrics: It's creepin' around in your head/Me holdin' you down in my bed/You don't have to say a word/I'm convinced you want this <--scary!). In 'The Sixth Sense', Donnie showed us why Mark was the underwear model in the family. Donnie did bring the hotness to the tv show 'Boomtown' (also featuring Bubba from 'Forrest Gump'). I also think I remember some show about bands reuniting (possibly called 'Bands: Reunited') failing miserably at convincing the guys to get back together, even just for one night.

I think about a year ago they announced that they were back together and released a single called 'Summertime' (which is oddly reminiscent of LFO's 'Summer Girls') and toured. Another tour was recently announced, so I looked into tickets. General admission tickets to the show in Hollywood are $99.50 plus tax and fees.

HAHAHA. HAHAHA.

Sorry, I need a second to recover. Um, yeah right. I'm interested, but more in the way people are interested in car accidents or 'The Jerry Springer Show' or Lindsay Lohan. I mean, in the video they are all wearing white suits and dancing around like all of the boy bands did in the 90s. These are guys who are 40ish dancing around to songs from 20 years ago to an audience of women probably in their mid thirties, early thirties at the youngest (I think I'm at the lower end of their fan base, as they had pretty much fizzled by the time I was 9, but maybe I'm just flattering myself). I mean, it could be amazingly hilarious but not a buck-fifty hilarious (gas, parking, etc, NOT including drinks, which I'm pretty sure I'd need because I'd soon realize how sad my life was seeing as I'm old and at a NKOTB show).

Now that I'm sad and in need of I drink, I really have no idea where I was going with this but I'm pretty sure that the 7-year-old me would be disgusted by the fact that 26-year-old me finds all of them do-able. Especially Donnie (Joey is too pretty and white-bread for me now). Even with his receeding hairline. And he's recently divorced. Score!

(Side note: Mark is still the hotter Wahlberg...by FAR.)

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 8:29 PM   0 comments
4.04.2009
Let's fill a bathtub full of sweat...alright
It is a Saturday night. I am at home, on the computer (obviously), listening to 'Love Me Sexy (Remix)' and looking at the website thisiswhyyourefat.com It is all kinds of awesome. The 'Loco Moco' (rice with a hamburger patty & fried egg, covered with brown gravy) on the site is totally tame. I saw ones with 3 patties and 2 eggs and chili and cheese, etc when I was in Hawaii. While I passed on the Loco Mocos, I did try a deep fried Snickers...along with a meal of fish-n-chips. Yum...greasilicious.

So, to review. I'm wicked cool with an awesome social life...at least Seth Rogen is on SNL tonight. He is all kinds of yummy.

But really, is it wrong that I want to know how someone managed to deep-fry guacamole because I totally want to try it? Fatties for the win...or uh, maybe not.

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 9:31 PM   0 comments
4.03.2009
Adventures in consumption...
So, food/candy/alcohol producers come out with rather odd new products and/or flavors on a semi-regular basis. If you are like most people I know, your thoughts are something along the lines of 'Blueberry vodka/Diet Coke with vitamins/Salsa flavored microwave popcorn? Who in the world thought that was a good idea? And who in the world would eat that crap?' Well, the answer to that is...me.

Back story: I was a vegetarian for over a decade and for six of those years I was a vegan. Dairy made its way back into my life about a year ago. Meat was reintroduced when I moved to Virginia for a few months because I'm pretty sure they don't sell anything without animal products or tobacco in it. Recently I've been living in a house where every other occupant is Asian...like spent half of their lives in Cambodia for two of them. So I've been introduced to some products that are very new and very different. The concept of meat was disgusting to me for a while but since I've cleared that hurdle, nothing else is a big deal.

Cow stomach? Bring it on. (Verdict: Rubberbands in a very nice sauce.)
Pork tendon meatballs? Sure. (Verdict: Bland balls of gristle.)
Pork blood? Um, yeah. (Verdict: Eh, boring and gelatinous.)
Eel? Cool, can I name it Flotsam or Jetsam and pretend that I'm Ursula the Sea Witch? (Verdict: It was cooked with so much ginger I couldn't tell.)
Durian? Uh, it smells like onions and dirty feet, ok. (Verdict: Sweet, custardy with the tang of onions...in other words ew, but it didn't make me yack.)
Chicken feet? Of course. (Verdict: Best of the bunch by far. In fact, I've eaten them on three separate occasions in the past month.)

Well, I'm off to go try my 'Hot Fruit Flavored Beef Jerky (Strawberry)' and maybe some of that aforementioned salsa popcorn.

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 3:35 PM   0 comments
4.02.2009
So I tried Diet Dr Pepper Cherry today...
Yup. The name is very apt.

The new flavor did raise some questions. '23 Flavors' is nowhere to be found on the can. So, is cherry a 24th flavor? And really, 24? I can handle 23, but 24 is just getting ridiculous. Or is cherry one of the original 23, just now in greater proportion to the other ingredients (I really cannot come up with a way to eloquently or even sensically say that they upped the amount of cherry and now I'm making up words and there is a major cat fight [felines, not girls] outside my window that is totally distracting me and argh)? I would have thought cherry was one of the 23...but I can't find a list of what the 23 actually are.

While searching for the 23 flavors (damn you wikipedia, you failed me) I also learned that there is no period after 'Dr' in the name. Dr Pepper is neither Pepsi, nor Coke...it is Cadbury/Snapple. Also, Mr. Pibb is no longer called Mr. Pibb (now known as Pibb Xtra) and is only available in a few areas across the US. And now you know more about Dr Pepper and Dr Pepper-esque products than you ever wanted to know...and don't even get me started on the number 23 (seriously, it's my favorite number and I've looked it up in the past).

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 9:37 PM   0 comments
I don't think you should be reading this website if you are driving a vehicle
I am supposed to be writing essays about why I did so poorly in college that they kicked me out (side note: I didn't, I dropped out for financial reasons) but I seem to have lost some of my essay composition skills (aka bullshitting ability) in the four years since I have been enrolled in school. Thankfully, I still have mad procrastination skills. I was looking up lyrics for 'Dynamo of Volition' and wound up on Mraz's website. I haven't been there for years and it is hilarious. I am bringing procrastination to a whole new level with this. Mraz talks to you and sings to you and gives you advice while you peruse the site and if you go to the same page, you don't hear the same stuff. I was just instructed to "Print out the bio and paste it in public toilets". I am totally not doing this justice because I am too busy laughing at the 'Tour Page' rap/spoken word jam/song.

Make sure you keep it wrapped up tight so you don't catch the media.

Back to work, I guess.

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 9:07 AM   0 comments
4.01.2009
Not the brightest...
So, I've been dying my hair since I was about 9 years old. There is always a warning on the instructions that says something along the lines of "Warning: Do not dye eyebrows or eyelashes; to do so may cause your eyeballs to melt out of their sockets and ooze down your face and then the dye will eat your brains because the pigments are derived from zombies." Being that I am such I rebel and I have such extensive experience with altering the color of my hair, I decided to disregard this and dye my eyebrows while dying the rest of my hair.

I am pleased to say that my eyeballs and brain are still intact (well, as much as they always were) but now I've discovered another reason behind the warning. My eyebrows now look enraged and like they just might be plotting your murder. I am a rather fair lass of Irish descent (meaning I'm pasty as heck with really light brown hair) and now my formerly fair and nondescript eyebrows are a really dark auburn and appear homicidal. Score...just what I have always wanted. I'm expecting a phone call from Peter Gallagher or Zachary Quinto to let me know the location of the 'My Eyebrows Want to Devour Your Soul' support group meetings.

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 9:10 PM   0 comments
Argh...
So last night while mourning loss of Steven Page (that makes it sound like he died but whatever), I was watching The Biggest Loser and trying to decide if I'm too old to have my nails painted navy blue (decision: nope, not too old and the color looks awesome), Kohl's decided to mock me by playing a commercial featuring 'Shopping' by BNL. If you aren't familiar with the song, it's a Steve song. And it is awesome, and the couple of times I saw it performed live, there was a synchronized shopping cart dance sequence that was also awesome. Someone at Kohl's either has a great sense of humour or is really really oblivious.


There is a chance that I over-utilized the word 'awesome' in this post.

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posted by spaghettistreetwalker @ 10:16 AM   0 comments
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