Confession: Once upon a time, I was into the whole boy band thing. I believe it was 1989 or 1990ish and I was nauseatingly into New Kids on the Block. I had all of their cassettes and tons of t-shirts (obviously they were over-sized and involved neon and I wore them with leggings and slouch socks and one of those plastic t-shirt restraint things [what the hell were those called?] and a ponytail on the side of my head). I was pretty sure that I was going to marry Joey McIntyre and then I'd have almost exactly the same name as one of the American Girls (just one letter off in the last name!). I actually harassed my parents into taking me to one of their concerts (in a different state, in the middle of a nasty divorce...Sadly, I've never been that persuasive again). In hindsight my fascination with NKOTB is kind of gross because all of the guys (with the exception of Joey) are a couple of years closer to my dad's age than to my own.
So, I've sort of kept up with the guys since then. I bought their 'Greatest Hits' when it came out during my sophomore year of high school (while at the same time mocking my friends for being into 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys because I was SOOO mature and got the boy band stuff out of my system a decade earlier). I knew Danny did something with LFO and Jordan released that song about circus rape or whatever (sample lyrics: It's creepin' around in your head/Me holdin' you down in my bed/You don't have to say a word/I'm convinced you want this <--scary!). In 'The Sixth Sense', Donnie showed us why Mark was the underwear model in the family. Donnie did bring the hotness to the tv show 'Boomtown' (also featuring Bubba from 'Forrest Gump'). I also think I remember some show about bands reuniting (possibly called 'Bands: Reunited') failing miserably at convincing the guys to get back together, even just for one night.
I think about a year ago they announced that they were back together and released a single called 'Summertime' (which is oddly reminiscent of LFO's 'Summer Girls') and toured. Another tour was recently announced, so I looked into tickets. General admission tickets to the show in Hollywood are $99.50 plus tax and fees.
HAHAHA. HAHAHA.
Sorry, I need a second to recover. Um, yeah right. I'm interested, but more in the way people are interested in car accidents or 'The Jerry Springer Show' or Lindsay Lohan. I mean, in the video they are all wearing white suits and dancing around like all of the boy bands did in the 90s. These are guys who are 40ish dancing around to songs from 20 years ago to an audience of women probably in their mid thirties, early thirties at the youngest (I think I'm at the lower end of their fan base, as they had pretty much fizzled by the time I was 9, but maybe I'm just flattering myself). I mean, it could be amazingly hilarious but not a buck-fifty hilarious (gas, parking, etc, NOT including drinks, which I'm pretty sure I'd need because I'd soon realize how sad my life was seeing as I'm old and at a NKOTB show).
Now that I'm sad and in need of I drink, I really have no idea where I was going with this but I'm pretty sure that the 7-year-old me would be disgusted by the fact that 26-year-old me finds all of them do-able. Especially Donnie (Joey is too pretty and white-bread for me now). Even with his receeding hairline. And he's recently divorced. Score!
(Side note: Mark is still the hotter Wahlberg...by FAR.)Labels: I suck at life, NKOTB |
